ABBOTT:  Super Duper Computer Store... Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks.  I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT:  Mac?

COSTELLO:  No, the name's Lou.       

ABBOTT:  Your computer?

COSTELLO:  I don't own a computer.  I want to buy one.

ABBOTT:  Mac

COSTELLO:  I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT:  What about windows?

COSTELLO:  Why?  Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT:  Do you want a computer with windows?

COSTELLO:  I don't know.  What will I see when I look in the windows?

ABBOTT:  Wallpaper.

COSTELLO:  Never mind the windows.  I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT:  Software for windows?

COSTELLO:  No.  On the computer!  I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business.  What have you got?

ABBOTT:  Office.

COSTELLO:  Yeah, for my office.  Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT:  I just did.

COSTELLO:  You just did what?

ABBOTT:  Recommend something.

COSTELLO:  You recommended something?

ABBOTT:  Yes.

COSTELLO:  For my office?

ABBOTT:  Yes.

COSTELLO:  OK, What did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT:  Office.

COSTELLO:  Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT:  I recommended office with windows.

COSTELLO:  I already have an office and it has windows!  OK, let's just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal.  What do I need?

ABBOTT:  Word.

COSTELLO:  What word?

ABBOTT:  Word in Office.

COSTELLO:  The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT:  The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO:  which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT:  The word you get when you click the blue W.

COSTELLO:  I'm going to click your blue w if you don't start with some straight answers...OK, forget that.  Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT:  Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO:  Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon.  What I watch is none of your business.  Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT:  Real One.

COSTELLO:  If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4.  Can I watch them?

ABBOTT:  Of course.

COSTELLO:  Great, with what?

ABBOTT:  Real One.

COSTELLO:  OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie.  What do I do?

ABBOTT:  You click the blue 1

COSTELLO:  I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT:  The blue 1

COSTELLO:  Is that different from the blue w?

ABBOTT:  The blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.

COSTELLO:  What word?

ABBOTT:  The word in office for windows.

COSTELLO:  But there are three words in office for windows!

ABBOTT:  no, just one.  But it's the most popular Word in the world.

COSTELLO:  It is?

ABBOTT:  Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left.  It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

COSTELLO:  And that word is real one?

ABBOTT:  Real One has nothing to do with Word.  Real One isn't even part of Office.

COSTELLO:  Stop!  Don't start that again.  What about financial bookkeeping...you have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT:  Money.

COSTELLO:  I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT:  It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO:  What's bundled to my computer?

ABBOTT:  Money

COSTELLO:  Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT:  Yes.  No extra charge.

COSTELLO:  I get a bundle of money with my computer?  How much?

ABBOTT:  One copy

COSTELLO:  Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT:  Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.

COSTELLO:  They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT:  Why not, they own it.